I'm here in Bali!

And so. I am finally here. As I set my out of office for my work email and saw the dates : Nayana will be OOO from Jan 5 - Jan 30: I wanted to dance! How exhilarating! Mostly, the first and the last time I'll be writing something like that.

I woke up on Jan 2nd, wanting to leave and not wanting to leave. There was so much apprehension and fear but so much more excitement and eagerness as well.  When I left for the airport, dragging a very heavy suitcase, an even heavier backpack, and a pretty heavy yoga mat down four flights of stairs, I had somewhat calmed down. Somewhat. I chatted incessantly to the taxi driver. Just to keep away my anxiety. Taxi drivers in Singapore are known to talk. A lot. This must have the first time, I spoke more than them! Floated through all the travel related tasks at the airport (Changi is a traveler's dream come true!) and then sat down with a cup of Teh and breathed a few deep breaths to let the fact that "I was finally here and on my way to doing this" wash over my being. I really wanted to chat with two people before I went on that flight and both of them had phone issues. Those rare moments when technology fails you and you realise how much we've come to rely on these things! So i sent them both long messages instead. I had some homework left to do from the pre-work they'd assigned us, and my plan was to complete it in the flight. But as always, I set too high a goal for in-flight stuff to do. I usually, actually, let me rephrase, I ALWAYS sleep in flights. So i slept and didnt get anything done. As we were getting ready to land at Denpasar, the pilot orders the cabin crew to go back to their seats and you can see the crew giving each other these "omg" looks. And the flight went through really really ....like really bad turbulence, and dropped up and down in air and with the flight, our stomachs went up and down as well. But it must have lasted for about 5 minutes, not more for sure, before we came out of the clouds and we could see the runway at Denpasar. With all these crazy aviation disasters, everyone had already started praying I think. I know I did.

I was dreading the unending Bali immigration queues and was pleasantly surprised to see that there was very little waiting involved. I know, I know, coming from India, I shouldn't complain about immigration queues anywhere else in the world :) The flight had landed early anyway and I was out of the airport in 40 mins. Got myself a cab and a sim card and was on my way to Ubud. When we entered Ubud town is when I relaxed and felt like now I knew why I was here and why I was doing what I was doing. I got to my home stay only to discover that they'd confused my booking dates and the room was only available starting the next day. So I had to figure out a place to spend the night. Thankfully, because it was their fault, the folks at Jati Homestay arranged for me to stay at another guest house, so I walked over there. And when I entered the room I wanted to cry. That room was most probably not being used, and hadn't been cleaned and everything from the bed to the floors to the bathroom, every single thing was dirty. And when I say dirty, I mean, very dirty. I almost cried. Almost. I kept my luggage down, grabbed my passport, some money and my cellphone and head out to find dinner and to find another place for the night. There was no way I was spending a night in that "room". Unfortunately for me, it started to pour like mad and there was nothing available anywhere close in Ubud, so I had to rough it out and stay at this place. I went back to the room, all the while during the walk in the crazy rain, preparing myself to be calm and take what comes, it's only a night after all. I forced myself to walk to the bathroom and wash my face and feet and laid out my yoga mat on the bed and used my scarf to cover myself and slept. Or tried to sleep. My extremely expensive Manduka Pro yoga mat had just repaid me in full. At 7 am, I was up and ready to get out. I went to Jati, kept my bags down, and sat down at their restaurant and waited for my room to get ready while I had breakfast and finally worked on the task i had been assigned fplor the training.

(The breakfast area in Jati Home Stay)

(My room in Jati!)

Now, if you're thinking I'm going to bore you with other such mundane details about my trip, here's where it stops! Things finally worked out, I got my room, which is beautiful by the way, 10,000 cups of tea lifted me out of my miserable night, and got my spirits soaring. A walk up and down Jalan Hanuman and a walk to Yoga Barn (to check out the route) calmed me down further. Yoga Barn is where my classes will be held. 

Finally it began to sink in.... I was here in Ubud. A brilliant cup of coffee at Anomali (i signed up for their rewards program, I'm going to have a lot of coffee in the coming days, might as well get some benefits while I am at it eh?) and a light lunch and I was on my way for my first class at Yoga Barn. As people started pouring in, i felt more and more light and ready for what was coming. I've come to judge everything in life by the energy it creates, whether it's people, places or situations. And either it was the place or the day or the people, but....there, then, just felt right. We got our manuals and walked towards Lotus Studio for our practice and introductions. It's a beautiful space, this studio. In my visit to Yoga Barn earlier in the day, I'd gone to the studio and sat down  on the floor and spent a few minutes in silence, just to take in the vibes of the place I was going to spend the next 28 days of my life in.

              (Oh Coffee, how I love thee!)

As we all introduced ourselves, I realised that we'd all come from such different backgrounds. In a yoga teacher training in Bali, I am the only Asian. I find that statistic a little weird. Very weird actually. But then I also get to meet all these people from all these different cultures! As we all introduced ourselves and narrated bits and pieces of our stories and what brought us here to Bali and to a yoga teacher training, I realised that even though we are so different, we are also so similar in our stories and what yoga means to us, what it has done for us and the potential we think it has for us and for everyone out there. The only thing, that didn't resonate with me, was how everyone was unhappy, well not unhappy, but well, not ecstatic about their corporate careers. And while I have alternate career plans for myself, I can't for the life of me say I'm unhappy with where I am and what I'm doing at my job. I work with a brilliant bunch of people and I'm extremely proud of the work I  do, I may not do path breaking work, but I know for sure that I enable some really really good work, that is literally changing our lives. And plus, I don't see how what brought me here, what gave me the financial resources and the time to do this teacher training can be something I dislike. I'm grateful to where I work, the people I work with and in a very big way to my boss who said yes to me taking an entire month off before I could even complete my request!

(The mandala the staff at Yoga Barn had made for our welcome!)

There are a couple of folks in the training, who traveled to Bali, and fell in love with the place and left everything and stayed back here. I was so amazed at that, that I asked her "did you go  back to wrap up things at home" and she said "No" and it was almost as if the ground beneath my feet had shifted. I couldn't think of doing that. Not that I want to at this point in life. I do remember in my last trip to Bali and Lombok, my very dear friend Simran and I wanted to settle in Bali forever. Well, she wanted to settle in the Gilis and I in Ubud. But would we ever stretch that thought further and actually do it? Without even visiting home again? I don't know. And I don't think so. My mother would come all the way to Bali and slap me across the face. And to an extent I think I would deserve it. Haha. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate what my co-student did. It takes a lot of guts and courage, on an everyday basis, to do something like that. There were loads of other folks who were travelling the world and this teacher training was a gift they decided to give themselves. Just such an abundance of stories and experiences. Makes you realise the world is HUGE and the tiny bubble you live in, is even smaller than you think it is.

It's day 2 today, well technically, Day 1, since yesterday was just introductions. And it's been going well so far. I've had my quiet "i don't want to talk to anyone" moments, and I've also had my non-stop talking moments. But, being in Ubud and being with the group, makes you feel supported. I've always felt that way in Ubud. I feel less vulnerable, more willing to give and receive, and less fearful of my future and judgemental about my past. It's almost as if a vast net of some sort was holding you and this voice inside of you was singing to you and asking you to go live life, and drop all facades and just be yourself. I've started doing that more and more in life, to be my real self with everyone I meet. But I still need to make a conscious effort. But Ubud invites you to be that way. And the group of 28 new people ( we have 3 men in class, which is quiet a feat, still no asians though) make you feel secure and loved. It's only been two days, but you can see how the group is coming together slowly. The last time I was at a retreat with my yogis from Hom Yoga, i came back with friends for life. We all still keep in touch, are very active on our mad Whatsapp group and meet up at least once a month to share our stories from the mat and off the mat as well. It's beautiful. They all got together at my place for a send-off thing for me, and as they left that evening giving me a hug, I could sense all their blessings and good wishes flowing through my house and me. They are a huge part of my life in Singapore and I am so glad I met each and every one of them before I came away. And I digress again. So Im not holding this group of yogis to any previous standard, but im sure we'll all get along just fine. So far we've been doing well :)

The training I'm doing is Hatha yoga, but Emily and Nanna who are teaching us are Anusara yogis, and Anusara yoga has a LOT of inversions, well handstands to be specific, we attempted jumping into a forearm stand on the first day! just imagine. It was alright frankly. I partnered with Yoska, one of my new friends here, and was upside down for 1/2 a minute. And also did a handstand today (with support again). I'm sure by the end of the month I should be able to get into one by myself. Exciting times ahead ! We spoke about yoga and anusara yoga and it's philosophy of "opening to grace". The term Anusara means : stepping in to the current of grace - that just sounds beautiful doesn't it? But we started today with what we think 'grace' means to each of us and using that definition or that concept of 'grace' to build a sequence for ourselves with that theme in mind and do a self practice for 30 mins, before we did some chanting meditation and pranayama. That is going to be our ritual every morning, to contemplate a philosophy : be it alignment or whatever - and build a yoga sequence around it.  For me that has been a huge part of my yoga practice. Setting an intention (sankalp) and practicing to a theme. I feel like when you know what you are practicing for, your mind and body move in one direction. Emily and Nanna are lovely. You can sense the energy and the love with which they talk about yoga and the care and dedication with which they teach. They are very easy to talk to and there really isn't a teacher-student hierarchy. Which makes it so easy for you to open up to them and ask questions, share thoughts and be inquisitive and curious. Makes me realise the importance of having that welcoming and open persona in life. It makes the other person feel so good and cared for. Of course you have to be genuine about it :)

Lotus Studio is beautiful. It's partially enclosed and is surrounded by a lotus pond and has a lovely wooden floor and it's far away from the main yoga barn studios and the cafe (Kafe rather), and it's like our own private enclosure. There is a statue of Ganesh on one side and during class today, Emily said this beautiful thing. Ganesh is known as the remover of obstacles in Indian mythology, but she said, he is also the one who places those obstacles in your path to test you. Which is not a novel thought, but resonated with me nevertheless. I'm not into religion in a big way, but i do believe in God or a higher being and the fact that this being or energy is holding us throughout and guiding us through life.

(The lovely lovely Lotus Studio at Yoga Barn)

 Yoga Barn is about a 10 minute walk from my home stay and it's a lovely walk. I'm vegetarian for the month and all this walking and yoga and no food (or no heavy food) should make me lose some weight, hopefully. Im not counting on it ! But it'll be a very nice by-product nevertheless. When I came back from class yesterday, I was exhausted, I'd walked the whole day and then jumped into handstands in the evening and just meeting new people and the whole experience had sapped me of all my energy. I came back and unpacked finally and set up my room and put up pictures and laid out my books and arranged my clothes and it finally feels like my space now. It's a good thing to come back to everyday. My own little sanctuary. I've carried along a lot of teas. A LOT. To keep me going. I need my chai to start the day. And from the looks of it, to end it as well. I'd love to walk to Anomali everyday to get that beautiful coffee, but even a 10 minute walk is too far after an entire day of yoga learning! Today, I was so hungry because I hadn't eaten since 11 am, that after class got done at 6pm, my tummy was crying for food, literally, crying.  Need to try and eat something at lunch break tomorrow on wards.

I have so much more that happened today that I need to share, but I feel like that should come in a separate installment, and frankly, I should really get to bed right now to wake up in time for tomorrow (and I have some homework to do before I sleep!)

I'll end this post with a pic of my chai cup from this morning. Its the elixir that keeps me going, I read in some book somewhere  "The universe comes to you in a bowl of tea" - i couldn't agree more. So, until next time
- Namaste (नमस्ते)