Yoga in the Himalayas ~ Being in Flow

For the longest time I thought, I needed to be an "established" yoga teacher with a following of sorts to be confident enough to lead a retreat. I would often toy with the idea of hosting one and immediately brush it away saying "I don't have anything to show" or "I do not know enough to share".  So I'd beat myself and my idea down and not let it flower. At all. That does not mean that I did not dream of doing it one day or that I pushed it way back down so that it would be hidden away. It was always just behind the "logical" and "rational" barriers of my decision making mind.  In fact, it was so accessible that I used it one day to make an entire website ready to publish about my upcoming retreat in April 2018 with the fields on the logistics of where I was hosting it as "TBD".

When I got back from teaching at Bergerac, France, a part of me was suffering from a major European hangover. Those who know me, know that my heart sings in Europe. My roots are very Indian and yes they get nourished in India, but my being flowers in Europe. My time in France is the longest I have spent in Europe in my adult years. Getting back on that flight to Bangalore was one of the toughest things to do - because a part of me did not want to go back. But there was a part of me that wanted to come back. I am glad I did.

As soon as I was back, I knew I had to host a retreat. I knew where it was going to be - The Mirage in Andretta, Himachal Pradesh India. Why did I know this? What was the reasoning behind it? And how were my fears not stopping me anymore? I have no answers to these questions. There was a guide within asking me to share what I had with people and in the setting or embrace of The Mirage and that was all the confirmation I needed. I wrote to Denis, the founder of The Mirage and asked him if October was too crazy in terms of the weather - he said no and I said ok let's do October 6 -12. And that was that.

I spent the next day doing posters, working on the schedule, conceptualising what the retreat was going to be about and the related philosophy I was going to share, how I was going to structure the yoga classes etc. My parents saw me working with a commitment and passion that scared them & they asked me why i was working at that pace. I told them exactly what I've mentioned here before : i don't know. They're both immensely spiritual themselves so they knew this was coming from someplace else and was not one of my mad - I want to start a Michelin star restaurant (I still want to do that btw)- dreams and hence supported what I was feeling and working on.

I now needed a website to host the event on - I know I need not rely on a website in the era of Instagram and Facebook - but I love working on websites and I do not like it when businesses do not have websites and only market via social media, hence I needed one for mine.That's where Wix comes in.

I opened my wix account and was pleasantly surprised that an entire website was ready to go live- all my previous work on a potential retreat wasn't wasted afterall. I worked on the website for an entire day and by evening launched it. I had a lot of help along the way, friends who reviewed it and gave me their feedback - they were as excited about me (finally) doing this.

Et Voilà,  www.cajana-nine.com was ready to roll !

Why did I  choose Being in Flow? I have three reasons:

I have often been told I cannot dance, I have been excluded from dance groups because i wasn't good enough, I have been told by primary school teachers that I would never be graceful and my movements will always be clunky - there's some deep trauma there. In a world that demands perfection very few give children the chance to just be and learn, irrespective of what that learning looks like. I am only now slowly recovering from that - and yoga has a huge part to play in that recovery. In yoga I discovered flow, I discovered grace, I discovered what being in my body feels like, I could move connecting one posture with the other and it did not feel clunky at all. I discovered dance. Most of my personal practice is vinyasa based- connecting body and breath in a synchronous yoga asana flow, most of my teaching at my workplace has been flow as well. I have been teaching static long hold therapeutic yoga to my students now in Bangalore, but the minute I step on the mat for my own practice, irrespective of telling myself "do not flow today, stay in long holds", my body will start flowing because that is where it goes naturally. There are days when I am disciplined about a static Hatha practice and use a timer to stay in asanas to work on healthy the internal organs or if I am battling insomnia or an upset stomach. Most times though, you'll find me being in flow.


Off-late a calling is attracting me to all aspects of the Devi or Goddesses of yoga. Sally Kempton in Awakening Shakti says that Tantra respects all creations and rejects none because everything is seen as being created by and being held in the goddess's energy field. Safely cocooned in the singing bowl of her vibrational energy. With practice that has an open heart and is consistent as well as being well intentioned, you can connect to this energy of hers and flow in that bliss. You can dance her in her music and sway to the sounds of the ever changing and ever creative Universe. Another gorgeous statement in the book is something along the lines of the Goddess using her Shakti (divine power/energy) to create the Universe and then living in the Universe as her many creations. If you are in touch with this reality and can step away from the daily worries for just a bit and step into the magical waters of this Shakti, you'll be in flow. That is my second reason for naming my first retreat being in flow.

That brings me to my last and final reason. When I spent two months in Bergerac, France teaching rowers and scullers yoga, I realised how connected they were with the water and their boats. Ali from Chez Boileau once described to me in beautiful words what he experienced when he felt the boat run under him, and that there were moments when he and the boat were not two, but one entity, inseparable. When he achieved that connection with the boat, he invariably then achieved a connect with the water and he would just flow- physically, mentally & spiritually. Being in the zone was when you had the technical aspects of sculling sorted and you were just enjoying yourself, in a meditative trance of sorts. Almost like being in flow.

Through this retreat I want  to offer people that aspect of seeing yoga as a fluid movement, a connection with the energies of the Devi or an entity that has created this Universe for us and flows in it, as well as bringing the sense of being in the zone, that Ali described, in our daily lives. Often we face friction in life, with our surroundings, with other people around us and most importantly within our own bodies and minds. I believe that friction is because we are inherently, in modern times, disconnected from the Universal flow of energy. The biggest, ever-present and strongest source of this energy is to be found in nature. Going away to a place that is surrounded by beauty, still untouched, to envelop yourself with a blanket of awareness and sit in Mother nature's lap for a while, is where transformational healing and magic has occured for me in the past. I want to be able to share that and provide that for people. 

My choice of The Mirage was then really a no brainer. My first retreat had to be in my motherland, India or in my spirit land of Bali. I have always been a mountain person over a beach person. Even though oceans can be amazingly therapeutic, I find solace and peace in the quietude that mountains and hills bring with them. The Mirage, situated on the Dhauladhar range of the impressive & stoic Himalayas was then the perfect setting. I relate to that as being held by the stationary power of the mountains, while inviting Shakti to change some things up in our lives.

Additionally, Andretta the village The Mirage is located in, is an artists colony or village - it is exactly in places like those that one can feel the Universal feminine creative energy swell and thrive. To be able to tap into that, even if only for 7 days, is a rare opportunity.

This is stuff of Big Magic. Truly.

My goal now is to bring a like-minded group of ten people together so they can connect with each other and the gorgeous surrounding we will be at. I want to enable this for them and so with the Goddess's blessing i leap forth into this Flow.