London Thumakda!

The lotus in the pond right outside our shaala.

That's the title of the blog, simply because that's the mood I was in the last few days. In some way we all were. It doesn't really make sense since it was exam week and we were supposed to be freaking out. But Emily had refused to call them 'exams', so in our heads we were very relaxed about it as well.

On Tuesday, our last day off before we got done, i woke up really late, because i'd slept really late. carried my notes and notebook and handouts and laptop down to the breakfast area. Made myself a lovely cup of chai in my mug and sat down to work. I knew I was doing Yin. But unlike the last time around, my theme wasn't flowing to me. I knew the asanas i wanted to do. I was definitely putting my group through anahatasana, that painful crazy little asana that i makes me winch every time i come into it (still), that was definitely in there. Then there was child's pose, of course, how is any yin class complete without it. And then (!) my all -time favorite asana : eka bhuja swatikasana from my universal class that Anton and Deb do a lot in their Yin classes. I knew I was doing those asanas, but i didn't have a theme!

I haven't spoken about how this works right? Emily divided us into 2 groups (A & B) of 15 each. The first 8 taught on Wednesday and the next 7 taught on Thursday. Group A was to teach from 11:30-2:00 and then Group B from 3:00 - 5:30 I was in Group A and # 3 on Wednesday. So I was the first few to go up there. Which turned out to be a blessing. because I got the rest of Wednesday off and I was chilling in Thursday. But that also meant that you had only Tuesday to prepare. So here I was less than a day away from my teaching and didn't have a theme. Had a beautiful Yin class lined up. So I did what i do best. I invoked my dramatic self, took that cup of chai in my hands and closed my eyes and wondered about what I'd like to talk to my students about, what would I like to share with them. The mug in my hands was a Shahrukh Khan mug, that my dear dear friend Sreedevi had gifted me on my birthday many years ago (wow, it's been so long!) and as i wrapped my fingers around that mug, my thoughts went to Shahrukh. And as usual, I asked myself... what would Shah do in such a situation. For those of you who are wondering how does this man have anything to do with yoga, please refer to my other blog and my love for Shah and you'll know he has a lot to do with my life. Anyhow, so then a dialogue he said in a movie  of his came to me : 

" ज़िन्दगी में कुछ बनना हो ,  कुछ जीतन हो , कुछ हासिल करना हो , तोह हमेशा अपनी की सुनो। और अगर दिल से भी कोई जवाब ना  आये , तोह अपनी आँखें बांध करके अपने माँ और बाबा का नाम लो, फिर देखना तुम हर मंज़िल पा सकोगे  , हर मुश्किल आसान हो जाएगी, जीत तुम्हारी  होगी … सिर्फ तुम्हारी "

Translated that means : In life, if you're trying to achieve something, win something, be something, always listen to your heart. If you don't and can't hear the voice of your heart, close your eyes and take your parents names, bring their image to your mind, and then see, you'll achieve your goal, all your troubles will lighten and victory will be yours....only yours. 

So this popped into my head, and i took my thoughts to my parents and decided to dedicate the class to them. Not focus on any theme, and just dedicate it to them. And decided to include this story in my dialogue with the class. And i was done. Just that one addition completed my class.

And so the next day, we practiced our usual meditation, pranayama and asana and had a shorter brunch break and i rushed back to the shaala to try and calm myself down and go through the sequence in my head one last time and feel the feel. Exactly what I had done on my first day here, which now seemed so so so far away : January 4th. Colette went first and then Andra and then I was next. I was scared, but I calmed myself down and patted my heart into beating at a normal pace. And sat down at the mat in front of the class and spoke to them about Yin yoga. And there was this other being talking. It wasn't the shy, afraid of public speaking Nayana, but confident, wanting to share and so wanting to teach, nayana. And she spoke clearly and loudly, said what she had to. And then got everyone into the child's pose and spoke about the dedication to her parents, a little about what Shah had to do with it. And then flowed with the class.

It was beautiful. I wasn't afraid, i wasn't rushing through it, i didn't want it to end. There, then, at that moment, that's all i wanted to do and that was where I wanted to be. nothing more nothing less. Just there, in the present. I spoke about Shavasana and added a poem that Leigh had spoken to us about in her candlelit flow : Just For Now. And with that ended my class. It was beautiful. I keep saying, it was beautiful, but that's only because i don't have other words to describe that day.

We ended a little later and then the 8 folks who'd taught that day had to stay back for feedback. And just hearing from Emily and Nanna, about what went well and what we can improve on : for me and for the others was extremely helpful : i took loads of notes, of course. It was lovely to hear them say that they would attend my Yin class any day.

And then we were free for the day. I was done! So I decided to chill and treat myself to a manicure and pedicure at Fresh! Spa . Mie and I were meeting at Locavore for dinner. THAT needs a post by itself.

For now, i'll this post with a few lines from Just For Now

Just for now,
be boundless, free, with awakened energy tingling in your hands and feet.
Drink in the possibility of being who and what you really are ~  
so fully alive that the world looks different, newly born and vibrant,
just for now

नमस्ते