my first class & what I learnt from Shiva-Shakti.
.......well imagine on day 2. or day 1. whatever, in the first 24 hours of a teacher training, i taught. It was unnerving and I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in the ground when it was announced. I momentarily lost my voice even. Must be in my head, but I think I was shaking as well. Public speaking is my worst fear. ok, not worst, but second after a room full of snakes maybe. Yes, i know. What am I doing at a yoga "teacher training" if public speaking scares me right. Well, I'm confronting my fears y'all. Haha. This (false) sense of bravado was nowhere to be seen when Emily showed us the sequence we had to teach (Suryanamaskar 1) in groups of 3. And what did I find out was that it wasn't so bad after all. Well, my teaching was pretty bad, and it sounded like a robot talking, even the "Ok Google" lady speaks with more emotion than what I did. But the point is, I didn't die. And all this voice and tone and how to speak with feeling and emotion and connection with your students is something that can be taught (hopefully) and at the end of the day, that's why I'm here. That's why we are all here, no one is better than the other, we are all students. And the beauty is, we will always be! My two students (my first students!) were Lies and Yoska. Just to see others moving to the sound of your voice and doing what you are telling them to do, is such an immensely powerful feeling and yet so so so humbling. You realise the responsibility and the trust that these students of yours have placed in you by allowing you to guide them through these asanas. It's just absolutely wow. I can't even begin to put it in words.
The other really powerful thought that Emily shared with us the other day was what she heard Will Smith say at an awards function : "You can tell how far in life you’ll go by the 5 people you spend the most amount of time with." and we all know it, but it is so vital to surround yourself with good people who bring good energies and good things and positive thoughts into your life and who spur you to do beautiful things. I've often said, the man I fall in love with and will eventually marry, has to be someone who gets the good out in me, who makes me want to grow with him, so that we both walk along, step by step in our journey, neither one too far ahead nor too far behind.
One of the main things to for me is to find my own voice and be able to stand in front of a group of people and teach! And it's great that we have Octavio teaching us how to open our voice/ find our own voice and be unafraid of expressing it. He trained in India and in Indian classical music and when we walked into class, he had a big board behind him that said "Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Dha Ni Sa" and that lit a light bulb in my heart! I love music, absolutely love it. And just hearing Octavio speak about music and see the love and passion he had for music and how it's all inclusive and present in everything, just made me smile wider and wider. We sang Sa Re Ga Ma and did a few other group exercises to express ourselves vocally. I'm looking forward to how that helps me in overcoming my immense fear of stepping onto a stage or in front of any kind of a group.
The other thing I'd really like to share is the concept of Shiva & Shakti. Shiva is a Hindu God and often credited with being the 'destroyer'. In the Hindu trinity of Brahma (Creator), Vishnu (Protector) and Shiva, his role is to step in when there is complete chaos and havoc on earth to then destroy all that exists, so that life and humanity can start afresh. Well, at least that's my understanding from the various things I've read and the stories my grandmom shared with us as children. A huge part of tantric yoga, or rather all of tantric yoga is to unlock a dormant energy in you : Kundalini, which when awakened will lead to a blissful state of being. There's a looooot more to tantric yoga of course, but in the interest of my sleep time, and to stick to the point here, I'll only talk about Shiva and Shakti for now. They are a big part of Tantric yoga as well. Shiva is symbolic of all that is masculine in the world, also called 'purusha' and Shakti is symbolic of all that is feminine and also goes by the name "prakriti'. So Emily said to us today, that Shiva is the container, and what lies therein is this crazy energy called Shakti. I found that a beautiful thought. Like absolutely divine (!).
So our task was to select a partner and take turns to be Shiva and Shakti and play the role of the container (Shiva, or the support ) and that of this unbridled energy (Shakti). And the question Shiva was to pose to Shakti for her to unleash herself while he held her was "What have you come learn of Love". Now there is some context to this, we had spend the previous hour talking of 'love' and how is omnipresent and how it is the absence of love that causes us to lie, steal, hurt people, cheat - defy all ethical and moral guidelines we have for ourselves and those that are a part Ashtanga of Yoga : the Yamas. As Shiva, you just had to pose that one question and then listen to Shakti talk about her experience with love and what is means to her or what she has learnt of it so far in life. And all this while, Shiva is not allowed to react to whatever is being said, he maintains eye contact with Shakti as she talks and talk and talks, expresses whatever she has to say, but never once showing any emotion or reaction on his face. It was a beautiful exercise. As Shakti I was unleashed, and couldn't stop talking and as Shiva, I was a patient listener to my Shakti, supporting her and holding her while she danced in her expression of love.
It is actually quite a lovely exercise to do with your partner. Often times, when a friend shares something with me, Im so tempted to interrupt and talk and advise. But maybe, all they need is to be heard while they say what they have to say. So in my role as Shiva, I had to make a conscious effort to not show ANY emotion, and just look into Shakti's eyes as she relayed her story. It doesn't come naturally to most of us, to just sit back and listen. And a huge part about being a yoga teacher, or any teacher, is to listen, to hear what your student has to say, without imposing your reactions or judgement on them, and that is what this exercise sought to do.
Shiva and Shakti (or Parvati as we say in Hinduism) are not the ideal romantic couple in Hindu mythology. But the exercise today made me realise how mature, practical and sensible and logical and yet full of love, their relationship actually is. And "made for each other" actually now has another meaning. I also don't think the male in the relationship should be Shiva all the time, or the woman should embody Shakti. Oh no, that would be a crazy relationship. But whats actually perfect is when both people have both these energies in them, I can be Shiva to my partner's Shakti, but i can also be the crazy and yet beautiful Shakti to his Shiva!
So as I sign off tonight, i pray that may you have the consciousness and grace to find and let your Shiva and Shakti play out when they have to.
नमस्ते
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